| |
October 2nd 2009
Over the past couple of weeks I’ve passed on some of the wise advice that King Solomon wrote in his Proverbs about friendship. He said: A friend loves at all times; a friend has a giving attitude; a friend will confront when necessary; a friend is a counselor when necessary and a friend is faithful. So the question follows, “How can we find a friend like that?”
Finding a good friend is not easy. You can’t just sit in your home and hope that a real nice person will knock on your door and ask to be your friend. A man or woman who wants friends must first of all be friendly.
In a way, finding a good friend is like finding a spouse. Solomon tells us to set parameters. He wrote that there are some people to whom we should not entrust ourselves as friends: evil people (my mother used to say, you can’t work in the garden with white gloves—the gloves will become dirty, the dirt will not become glovey); fickle people (do not associate with those given to change); untrustworthy people (like a bad tooth or an unsteady foot is confidence in a faithless man in a day of trouble); a loose talker (do not associate with a gossip); or a hot tempered man (do not associate with a man given to anger).
Of course common interests draw people together. “Birds of a feather flock together.” Join a small group at church, or start one yourself, of people with like interests: scuba diving, mechanics, baseball team, study group, couples club, men with young children, bird watching, hiking… the list could be endless. You’ll more likely find a friend you can relate easily to among people who like what you like.
Here are two pieces of advice worth remembering when seeking a friend. Dale Carnegie once said, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.” And someone else said, “The whole art of pleasing lies in never speaking of oneself, always persuading others to speak of themselves. Everyone knows this and everyone forgets it!” This second piece of advice is good for getting people to like you, but ultimately must be amended when trust is established and you are ready to settle into a long term two-way friendship.
Solomon also reminds us that there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. He was speaking prophetically about one of his yet to be born descendants—Jesus. From his family line, a thousand years after Solomon’s reign, a baby was born who would fittingly be called Immanuel—God with us. It is God’s intention that every person in this world would invite his Son Jesus to be their best friend. He fits all the criteria: he loves at all times, he gives everything he has to his friends, he is confrontive when necessary, he is an ever wise counselor and he is always faithful. What better friend could any of us have?
- Barry Buzza
|
